Does Opposite Day Oppose Itself?
I always wondered if it was possible to have a true opposite day. I mean, if it's opposite day wouldn't that mean we'd have to NOT celebrate it? The opposite of opposite day is not opposite day! Or could we simply claim it wasn't opposite day but still practice it? ...

Chicken Blues (or How I learned to stop worrying and eat the flued chicken)
A small chicken farm owner realising the outbreak of bird flu, releases the few 10s of chickens he has into the wild fearing infection (as no health officials seem to be in sight) Of these chickens are a lover couple who run towards a nearby forest hoping for a properous life ...

Mister Yookie Came from Mexico
Mr. Yookie Dookie hopped the Mexican border and went to America. Unfortunately he met up with some nazis. They said, "Go back you fool!" Mr. Yookie was like, "Leave me alone! I just want a better life!" So the nazis said, "Ok! If you can dance for 8 days straight ...

Noah is In My Soul
I don't think I'll ever get close to anyone again because I'm never comfortable enough around someone to speak. My mouth gets steeled shut and my petty emotions seep through my eyes, occsaisonally in the form of a salty discharge. They are definately the windows into my stomach. If enough ...

The Great American Novel
Narrative flow is lame. My thoughts are random and obtrusive. They are lame. But I'll wake up tommorow and write the great American novel. Set in Belarus. It involves a man with an American soul caught in a foreign land of yellow people. The poor fella gets so lost sometimes ...

Armageddon
The horribal swift destruction my land burned, seared, and scarred. All love lost Into the night of bleak hopelessness. I drink of sorrow and weep of pain. Thus is all love lost. ...

Golden
Once, there was a golden boy riding a golden horse under a golden sunset on a golden countryside. The golden boy stopped at a golden inn and said to the golden receptionist, "I'm golden exhausted! Do you have a golden room with a golden bed where I can ...

A Thanksgiving Carol
A Thanksgiving Carol Act I Scene One [It's Thanksgiving Day in the small town of Adams, Massachusetts. Brothers Russ (14) and Jim (18) are on their way to go hunting at their traditional field in the mountains.] Russ: I can't wait to shoot the heads off some turkeys with my new gun. Jim: ...

The Man Who Sold The World
This dude thought he owned the world..he was called God or something..anyway he got bored of it and thought "oh dude i am gonna sell the world!" so he went to 'World 'R' Us' and sold it for £5. By Tom ...

The Monocle Shammy, By: Hamster
Our Big-Eyed Players: Hamster: ME! Hayruumy: Q! Saku: The official pwner of j00 all! LETTUCE BEGIN:! Hamster: j00 h4x012!!!! LOL!!1 Hayrummy: What is with the 1337 speak? What do you think this is... AOL or somethin? Hamster: 401 SUx0RZ! Saku; *pwns all* (Fun fact: pwn is pronounced like poon!) Hayrummy: BWAH! *pwnd* Hamster: *stands up* I HAVE ...