It seems that we have utterly failed in our endeavors of encapsulating this wretched human’s existence. He has baffled you in more ways than even I was baffled. Don’t worry my dear friend, for we two have suffered a defeat more succulent than the ripest mangoes on the face of the earth. I so wish to taste the bitterness of a melted battery or of a rotting mushroom patch. Ninety-nine point nine-nine repeated percent of all humans alive hold some fault to bear their own. However, this character appears to be equally good at everything he pursues. He never suffers a defeat more sorrowful or a victory more sweet than the previous. For him, all events are the same. I have seen that you tried to feed him until he was bloated and then starve him until he couldn’t sit up. You tore him asunder as I wished you to. You asked him if he really thought he could be right in every facet of his life. You questioned his faith, or rather his lack of religiosity or longing for an evil force (which we would gladly provide). He did not buckle to any extreme except to such floundering phenomenon as existentialism and miserliness. The tenets he queued behind were of his own calling and merely passed his time. His lack of devotion to anything made him impossible for you to ebb.
And so we come to a most momentous time in our history, one of extreme indecision. As far as I can see it, I have come to the end of my ropes. It is now time for me to pass on the waning candle of my reign to you. I had been saving this case study for a new pupil that just wouldn’t come, but you are here now. Though your first few attempts have not succeeded, you will have many more years to reach depths of this inferno that I was just not capable of attaining. You might wonder what may happen to me now, the immortal Undersecretary to Satan Himself. This is certainly a good question, which even I will not be able to answer for some time. Perhaps I should pursue a course like this immutable fellow. Oh how I wish to be all-encompassing, yet untouchable by the polar forces at work within our Universe. Good luck in your future conversions my former pupil and now confidante.
Your always expressively silent yet vociferous comrade of the molten seas,
Darwin Luther
Table of Contents
Letter One
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Letter Three