Congratulations! It is my distinct pleasure to inform you that you have been awarded the Beelzebub Medical Scholarship. Your dedication to everything you do as well as your malleability and willingness to please everyone you meet floated you to the top of our application pool. We hope that you accept the Scholarship and are able to attend Hell for the rest of eternity.
This prestigious award is only awarded to a select few students, and it rewards its winners very generously. Along with full tuition to a Medical School of your choice, you will receive lifetime Medical Malpractice Insurance and a one million dollar signing bonus. The tuition at Hell itself is very reasonable, and only costs one soul. Nearly everyone that attends can afford it. We hope to here back from you soon.
Cordially,
The Office of Admission
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Dear Mr. Selvam,
Dear Office of Admission,