The Woes of Retail

I work at Target. I work at the Guest Service desk. I get so many annoying people returning stuff, I want to shove them all in a box and throw it in the incinerator. But then I remember that Target doesn't have an incinerator. Apparently, it's a 'Class 5 Fire Hazard.' Go figure.

So one time, a woman brought in a used thing of makeup. She didn't like the color, but she wanted to return it. I looked at her kind of funny. I blinked twice. She rubbed the pink fur boa around her neck. I blinked again. I picked up the makeup, scanned her receipt, and returned it. She said 'Thanks' and left. I was amazed that a person like that could exist, and my payment to her for widening my horizons was to let her return the contraband makeup. I'm a nice guy that way.

Speaking of nice guys, this guy walked up to me and returned $4.99 worth of stuff. I just gave him a $5 and told him not to worry about it. Twenty minutes later (after searching the floor all over the store), the guy came back and gave me a penny. He said it made him feel a lot better.

Hey, whatever floats your boat, mister.

That's not as bad as the woman who expected us to walk her through the store and be her personal shopper. She got mad when we wouldn't do that.

I could go on and on about my co-workers. Not a single one is as smart as I am. They fight with each other all the time, too. I've been planning to steal their paychecks for a while. I'll tell each of them that somebody else did it, and they'll fight amongst themselves, and I will take the survivor and make him or her my apprentice.

My gay boss is extremely strict.

My former-Marine boss is extremely lenient.

Have you ever been covered in 2,500 square feet of bubble wrap?

I came for the money. I stay because it's easy for employees to steal stuff.

And that's why I work at Target.

Currently 6.29/10
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Rating: 6.3 out of 7 votes cast