Bob, Bobskingdom, and the PBG

Giabyustanp was bobsledding through World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle on his coconut/home (as he was only 6mm and 6 ¾ of a micrometer tall exactly, yet surprisingly –other than his perfectly uncomplicated size- people could easily see and distinguish him) (he lives in a luxury mansion because for his size a coconut is a mansion and his coconut is abnormally large, 4’ 1/13” in diameter) (he is so small because his mother was a person -medium humanoid- and his dad was a bacterium, and actual quote from his mother seconds after birth, “easiest birth EVER!”) (He does also have a half brother who is 47003’ 14 ½” 6mm and 1/2000734 of a micrometer tall exactly, not so uncomplicated as his brother) (they had the same mother except his giant brothers father was Atlas the greek god.)
Aaaanyway, back to the story, so Giabyustanp was bobsledding through World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle on his coconut and found this to be quite boring after 4 hours (after all exploration is only fun for so long) so when he saw a sign that said “ Mercantile village this way ” he thought “what luck, I shall find enjoyment here” so he was off to this village.
When he finally made it to this “mercantile village” he was quite disappointed for the only thing he saw there was a man in traditional “101 Arabian Nights” apparel in a kiosk.
“Vood youau layk to bayee somzing peaszazazaincratsz” (peas n’ carrots, meaning please with strong desire, like we would say “please with whipped cream and cherries on top”) said RAKOOSH (the 101 Arabian Nights looking guy).
“WTF?^^ mate” a confused Giabyustanp asked.
Then in an English accent (If you want to know why its an English accent you must watch the amazing show “Keeping Up Appearances” and if you know Hyacinth you’ll understand it all) RAKOOSH said “Please buy some Royal Doulton with the Hand-Painted Periwinkles”.
“Smashing! Old boy” replied Giabyustanp in an English accent as well. Then RAKOOSH in a now Brooklyn accent said
“Smash em’? watr yous crazy! I’ll killya, get atta hea!” And right then and there World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master came out to see what RAKOOSH was doing and why he was yelling and especially at customers.
“Master, what could I do for you” fearfully asked RAKOOSH.
“What are you just standing there for blubbering RAKOOSH, show this man some pantaloons, NOW!!!” yelled World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master.
“Okk, Okk” (not O.K. O.K., it’s pronounced like the oc in ocular) said RAKOOSH as he went behind the kiosk and came back with three pairs of “special” pantaloons.
“Would you be interested in some Bronze, Silver or GOLD pantaloons perhaps?” asked RAKOOSH.
After a little thought Giabyustanp said “I don’t really think I need Pants--”
“--PANTALOONS!” yelled RAKOOSH. “yes pantaloons” continued Giabyustanp.
“Don’t treat your customers so badly and show this man some hospitality already you *curse*” scolded World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master.
“I don’t really need any pants err pantaloons” said Giabyustanp again.
“Ahh, but these are special, if you find a certain gnome you could ask him to make you the [BIG METAL UNIT], it is the best armor in BG-BGII (Baldur’s Gate / Tales of the Sword Coast ----- Baldurs Gate II - Shadows of Amn / Throne of Bhaal)”
Said the Cunningly Sly RAKOOSH.
“Well, I already have a [Small Metal Unit]” said Giabyustanp in an attempt to ward off the upcoming mercantile skill that are to be thrust upon him in a selling attempt of pantaloons. But to his surprise he got something much much worse.
“My package of pantaloons is BIG not small as what you formerly owned.” Said RAKOOSH.
“Formerly?!” yelled an outraged Giabyustanp.
“You have just been smurobbed my friend” said World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master as the World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle guards strapped Giabyustanp of his SMU and laughed.
Suddenly a small hunk of cheese with three moustaches and a frown appeared on Giabyustanp’s shoulder and whispered into his ear in an unexpected cheese/smirvfneblin (Deep gnomes from the underdark) voice
“I am Madeline Cratdalines Meetrowenchowem and I say to you to say to them, the lettuce in this country is just like my whiskey -SOUR”
“What? Why?” whispered Giabyustanp in a confused voice.
“What was that?” said RAKOOSH.
“Nothing” replied Giabyustanp.
“Because that way you’ll get your unit of smallness and metallicness back and now I must go yaddayadda toodle-oo” said the cheese and then vanished into thin air.
“Should I really trust that Madeline Cratdalines Meetrowenchowem cheese hunk, then again I do need my unit of metallic smallness, ok I’ll do it then” contemplated / pondered Giabyustanp.
“RAKOOSH and (barely saying it at all / stuttering) World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master, I would just like to say that the lettuce in this country is just like my whiskey –SOUR, there I said it.”
RAKOOSH and World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master reached into their robes and each pulled out a abnana and squeezed it into Giabyustanp’s face and World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master screamed out what sounded like
“aaattttttiiiccc”(attic) but was actually “attack” and suddenly 400,000,004,729,612 soldiers of all sizaes and species jumped up to arms. Sadly though about 400,000,004,729,112 of them were of a species that died when they jumped. So there were now only 500 soldiers at arms charging toward World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master to receive the orders to attack Giabyustanp.
Giabyustanp got a “strange” desire to get the hell out of there and out of World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle in general. He then got into his coconut and started bobsledding for his life. He reached speeds of up to 40mph (which is very hard to do if you are in a 4’ 1/13”in diameter coconut). He sped through World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle barely dodging EVERYTHING, he saw the whole thing as a high speed extremely scary tour of sorts.
Nevertheless (alwaysthemore apparently) after about 17 minutes of bobsledding he saw a big green lump sticking out of the ground and before he knew it this lump is running at him with a paddleball paddle (14 feet oversized) and he is of course scared out of his wits and tries to maneuver to the side. After his little run in with a tree (that was to the side that he maneuvered to) and 4 hours of unconsciousness he woke up in a dark room about 10’ in diameter and 140’ in height -a tree trunk it turned out to be- and the big green lump standing right in front of him and he made it out to be a waiter with a giant frog’s head, a towel, and a sword. Next to the frog waiter there was a man with a fish as a head and a banana as a body and next to him Jack, the Pumpkin King from “Tim Burton’s A Nightmare Before Christmas”. The frogwaiter looked at him and said
“waking up are we, well I guess all I have to say is welcome to the club then”.
“Club, What club?” asked Giabyustanp.
“We are the “club” of all the people who have been tricked by that infernal cheese to insult World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master and all of World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle” said the frogwaiter.
“Our quest is not to get killed by World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master’s army and to destroy that fibbing, lying, infernal cheese” said Jack, the Pumpkin King.
“We live in this tree and lookout for more victims of the cheese’s tricks” said the banana/fish.
“We do have a plan to destroy this cheese and escape World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle and you could help us but we just wanna know one thing; are you in or are you out?” said the frogwaiter
“In” replied Giabyustanp “So In”
So they set off on their plan, they were to find an unsuspecting wayfarer and strap him with shoulder weapons, then the cheese appeared -WHACK- and that’s the end of the cheese. They set off on their hunt for a wayfarer, Giabyustanp in his coconut, frogwaiter in his now larger flying towel, banana/fish guy can fly (so he does), and Jack in his Hallowmasmobile. Weaving through the forest they went, hours passed and noone was in sight except Carad (an unsuspecting wayfarer) they realized their supidity and turned around and went back to meet Carad.
Carad was a man who hated cheese and all dairy products in general so he was glad to help. They all went to their local weapons supplier Geejree Rowni who was a 2m tall rat who hated cheese (imagine that). Geejree supplied them with grenades, cheese attracting perfume, and little mines that only exploded when dairy products touched them and only hurt dairy products. They strapped themselves with the grenades and put the mines and perfume on Carad’s shoulders and sent him to talk with RAKOOSH and World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master.
When Carad met with RAKOOSH and World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master they of course tried to sell him anything from “Black Vanilla” cookies to their countries extremely famous lettuce. Eventually they tried to sell him some pantaloons and when he refused they told him they would kill him like the others who didn’t buy the pantaloons.
“You didn’t kill them, I know them, they’re just hiding from you” Carad accidentally blurted out.
“What! This is an outrage, I will have you punished, Guards seize him!” yelled World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master.
Suddenly Madeline Cratdalines Meetrowenchowem appeared on Carads shoulder and said “Say the lettuce in this country is just like my whiskey –SOUR and they will spare you” when suddenly the mines exploded sending the cheese off his shoulder straight at World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master’s face.
“What is this disgusting thing on my face?” said World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master, “Oh my its Madeline, Madeline Cratdalines Meetrowenchowem” Angrily he picked up the cheese in his fingers and pulled out of his pocket a small chain and put it around the cheese. “Now you can’t disappear, so it’s you who has been telling these poor wayfarers to insult this great country/jungle, RAKOOSH you know what to do”
“Yes master, right away” and RAKOOSH picked up a book from under the kiosk and turned to a marked page and read, “Whosoever shall trick any customers of the World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle mercantilism community or World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master shall be expected to pay for his or her crime through all ways stated in pages 201-237 parts 769.04 – 10446.912”
Suddenly a large panther with three beige/purple stripes jumped out of the ground and snarled, it came up to the cheese, sniffed it and said “World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master you are under arrest for violating the law of your own land”
“What! No what are you talking about, I will not allow this” said the cheese and World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master together in an echoing demonic voice as they started to join into one and became a giant circle of cheese with sword-like spike sticking out of each hole with horns and 6 eyes, it had small capes attached to all swords horns and all other protrusions.
“Yes I am one World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master and Madeline Cratdalines Meetrowenchowem, I enjoy the torture and humiliation of others and I love to make all I come in contact with suffer for no reason and you Kraizgjra are no exception” he said to the panther.
“Your time has come!” said the panther as it leaped into the air, suddenly all bysanders, RAKOOSH, Giabyustanp, frogwaiter, Jack the pumpkin king, banana/fish, Carad, and Geejree started feeling cold and strange mist poured out of them and into the panther and the panther transformed into a large metallic tapeworm still maintaining its stripes.
Out of nowhere two large obelisks shot out of the air striking World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master and Kraizgjra and stabbing through them. Then all became dark for several minutes and when everything returned all was gone except RAKOOSH, Giabyustanp, frogwaiter, Jack the pumpkin king, banana/fish, Carad, and Geejree just sitting in a large desert-like plain.
Everyone started out in a mass panic and no one could do anything in all the chaos until RAKOOSH yelled
“EVERYONE STOP, LET ME EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!” an awkward silence followed. “ Now as I was saying, I know this may seem very confusing for everyone but let me explain, you see World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master and Madeline Cratdalines Meetrowenchowem were one evil god named Sotieteifyawonealloksweithaga (sssdo-tie-it-eef-eeya-woan-ee-a-locks-wyath-ayga) at one time and it was a dragon god (explaining the name). One day Sotieteifyawonealloksweithaga decide it wanted to conquer the Prantrisdian jungle (which it later renamed World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Jungle in a strange deal I will explain soon) and it sent an army of black, red, and green dragons numbering about 47. The deity that was worshipped greatly and watched over the Prantrisdian Jungle was Kraizgjra - a panther goddess. When Kraizgjra heard of the attack and slaughter of her (17%) base of followers she was very, very angry, she sent an army to vanquish those 47 dragons but alas panthers are no match for dragons, at least not the army she sent. She was so angry that she decided that enough was enough, she made me, RAKOOSH and made me a dragon, she sent me to infiltrate his forces and trick him into becoming an avatar so he could be killed. When I finally did convince him to become an avatar to fight her he decided to even the odds and put a curse on me, If she was to ever win and (she wanted to lock him in his jungle and make him mortal as the consequence) he was to suffer the consequences I would be his eternal slave, alas she destroyed him with tactics of which I couldn’t have imagined. She gave me a book explaining all laws of his land and he must name it after the most sacred item in the former jungle made to worship her; the World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Banana Yellow Green Green Pink Stone, It was a multicolored stone slab debicting her entire life story and all her accomplishments. He broke all the rules with the cheese, which was a separate being of him that would eventually destroy her in plan that I don’t know, she somehow found out about it and you saw it unfold”
“WOW! That’s deep,” said everyone simultaneously.
“Yeah, well not as deep as this” said RAKOOSH as he turned into a giant scary-looking clown and yelled “I’m coming for you Giabyustanp!”
Suddenly Giabyustanp woke up in his coconut, “It was all a dream” he said as he looked outside, he saw RAKOOSH and World Cookie Dough Master Go-Go Sticker Master yelling at each other in front of the kiosk, something about the wrong pantaloons.

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