Oompa Loompas and the calculator forest

One day I was driving down the road and saw a math book lying on the side of the road. I pulled over and went to the book. As I opened it a strange noise that sounded like candy being unwrapped came from inside. All of a sudden I was a duck and it told me to “go to the light” so I did and the book sucked me in. It was a world of calculators and pencils, the mechanical kind. I approached one of the calculators which stood up like trees and started to eat it. It was like the land of willy wonka. Then oompa loompas came and lifted me up into the sky then dropped me. I went down down down into the ground. On my way down I saw Ryan Cabrera eating paper. Still hungry and still falling I remembered the sandwich in my back pocket which was all squished now but I ate it anyway. When I landed in hell I saw president bush and Cartman talking over Kenny’s dead body. I yelled out “hey, I hope you keep that refrigerated!” then I saw a pool of hot chocolate sauce. I dove in and smelled buttered popcorn. When I arrived at the circus with your dad he bought me a lollipop and a set of pom poms... for later (*wink*wink*) lol. Then we got into the bat mobile and drove home. When I woke up to my grandma screaming to me that breakfast was ready I galloped down the stairs to see that the FBI was searching our house for stolen salt shakers. I asked one of the agents “But what’s for dinner?” he replied “beef.” unsatisfied with his answer I proceeded to beat the living shit out of him and broke out my black belt karate moves. Feeling extremely excited and hyper, I went back to bed in Canada and dreamt of bagels with cream cheese.

Currently 8.00/10
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Rating: 8.0 out of 2 votes cast