100% Improvised Story Demonstrating My Wacky Wacked Out Mind This Title Is Very Long Yo

Okay. Liek, there was like this time, and, like, I was like SO wanting to hang at the mall, kay? Well Mom was all like, "Oh no you dont, you have to clean your grandmomma." And I was all like, "Oh no you dih-ihnt" Then I ate my momma's head off. It was bony and needed more A1 Steak Sauce. Yeah. It's that important.

So I went to the mall, and I saw this homeless guy with only one arm screaming and stealing little babies for nourishment. There was a policeman on guard, but the hobo was clever. He summoned the power of the Hobo-God and destroyed the policeman. I paid no regard to this and went to SuperClothesAndPerfumeSamples Store.

So at the store they had these shoes. I fed them to the afore-mentioned Hobo-God. I left there because I had a fatal belly wound from the Civil War, which, at the time, were fatal. I decided I'd leave the mall and sit on a hippo in the zoo.

When I reached the zoo, I saw an ugly person in a cage. There was a sign on the wall that said, "Lizard," but I couldn't understand what it meant. I couldn't find the hippos (hippoes?) so I went home.

I got yelled at by Dad. "How dare you eat yo momma?" I said, "Dont you be talkin bout my momma like dat!" and I fed him to the Hobo-God-shaped tumor growing out of my head.

Eggplants.

Then Billybob came. Then we played. Then we ate. Then I wrote an entire paragraph with horribly undetailed sentences starting with "Then." Then Billybob killed me.

I flew around as a ghostie. I cried and cried till I didn't have tears anymore. I then watched TV and it all felt better. I was happy beyond belief.

I was miserable beyond belief. Then Dick Spangood came and cheered me up, and gave me a long list of big cool words that make you sound important even if you don't know what they mean. I then hypotenused over to the exponent and decided to centigrade the emancipation.

When I was bored with all that fun, I decided to buy a sock to match my other sock. However it was raining and the campfire went out. THE END

Credits:

Narrator: Dane *hes not telling you his last name*
Mom: Dad
Dad: Mom
A1 Steak Sauce: Aunt Jemima's 10% Maple Syrup
Homeless Guy: 50 "Fiddy" Cent
Hobo-God: Ronald McDonald
Ugly Human In Cage: YUR MOM! BURND
Hobo-God-Shaped Tumor: Brittany Spears
Dick Spangood: Dick Spangood

If you want to know the big cool words (WARNING: IT IS BORING)

Hypotenuse: The longest line on a right triangle. In the Pythagorean Theorum, a2+b2=c2, it is represented by C. BORING

Exponent: A number written to the top-right corner of a number representing how many times to multiply that number by itself. ex: a3=a*a*a. BORING

Centigrade: The Celsius Scale. BORING

Emancipation: The release of enslaved African Americans. INTERESTING

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Currently 10.00/10
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Rating: 10.0 out of 2 votes cast