The Hugest Bug in the World and Me

I went downstairs this afternoon where all the exercise equipment is, and I was planning to work-out. I turned on MTV, and the new G-Unit song was playing. "This work-out is totally going to rock," I thought, because anytime I start my work-out with a good song, I just know it will rock.

Anyway, I'm warming up and jumping rope while out of the corner of my eye I see what looks like a caterpillar on steriods with all sorts of legs and antennae sticking out of it, and it comes walking right by. Naturally I scream and scream and scream. I stood still for a moment thinking of my next move. Should I try to find something to kill it or should I call K.

I jump over top of it and make it to the phone. Then I called K. to find out what time he would be home from work, because this bug was truly a job for K.

He tried to talk me through killing it. I had to put the phone down while I found something large enough to smash it with. Not just anything would do, you see. K. suggested a magazine, but this bug was huge! It would have jumped out around the magazine and lunged for my wrist, so no, a magazine was NOT an option. I hopped over it again in a daring move where I procured the broom at which I broommed it to death, all the while I screaming with each whack.

I went back to the phone explaining the events to K. I told him how there was a stare-down for a moment pre-broom hitting. It looked at me, and I looked at it. It was as if it was saying, "I dare you, I dare you to get me" with it's eyes (because it was large enough for me to see it's eyes, nose, and mouth, I tell you).

Luckily, I did kill the bug. Better yet I preserved my homeland from the bug and felt safe enough to work-out after the killing. Of course, I kept looking over my shoulder for its friends, but I'm ready. You hear me, I'm ready!

My throat hurts tonight rom the screaming, but justice was done in the basement.

Currently 7.40/10
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Rating: 7.4 out of 5 votes cast