Wrongly Accused

It was a cool summers evening and I found myself sipping on some well deserved WD-40. Sure, my dad drank most of it, but I salvaged a passable quantity. As I finished the bottle I noticed a young Etruscan walking down the street. I stopped him and asked politley for his name.
"Sorry, sir", he began. "But me thinks I should return home before me dinner gets cold."
"Nonsense!" I yelled. Stammering at his the false accusation of me one day fishing in his rare Japannese pond was absurd. So I eviscerated him in one fluent motion.
"Slander!" I exclaimed loudly as his moitionless body lay before me. Unintentionally I created quite a rucus. Neighbors heard, and calls were placed immediatley. The police came and I was charged with assualt and battery. Kneeling on the ground next to the Etruscan I whispered, "Moral fiber takes the heart of us all. Do not fear it."
I spent the next seven and three quaters years lingering in a local jail. During a shower scenario I quickly befriended a colored man named 'Bubba'. He started to rub his vuluptous arms on my back. Quickly, in response, I turned around and chocked him by shoving my soap down his throat. So in esscence, I didn't befriend him.
As the days progessed my ingenious plot to escape was slowly, but surely, unfolding. One day, when the sun was at an angle of 32 degrees I escaped. End of story.

Currently 8.00/10
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Rating: 8.0 out of 1 vote cast