The Bright Side of Life

the world hates me and i'm beginning to hate it back. i don't understand what's wrong with me. to me i don't feel like there's all that much wrong with me. i'm brutally honest at times, sometimes overrly sensitive, and socially uncomfortable. i guess i can be self-serving too. most of the people i see around me have much worse problems, and many have the same types of problems but they have friends and significant others. why don't i deserve to have anyone in my life except my mother? i try to be kind, funny, interesting, original, but no one likes me. my best friends don't answer or return my phone calls. my so-called ex-girlfriend wants absolutly nothing to do with me. i try and try but i always seem to fail. i've tried counseling and drugs and just trying some more but nothing works. my own family avoids me a lot now. not so much my immediate family but everyone else. brothers-in-law, cousins, and the rest. how can someone like me who truly wants to be liked and accepted can be so disliked and even hated by everyone i know? what exactly do i do to everyone i meet that makes me such an unlikeable person? for years i've made excuses but i can't pretend anymore. i used to say it was him or her or this type of person. but it's not them. everyone i know doesn't like me. people i work with, people i went to school with, people i meet at bars or through so-called friends. especially girls that i have even a slight interest in. i moved to f**** because i was tired of screwing girls who meant nothing to me, sometimes i wasn't even slightly attracted to them. my ex-girlfriend actually has some sort of connection with me. i'm not even sure why or what it is exactly, i just know it was there and is when i see her. i know i love her but she wants nothing from me. i'm just so lonely. i often want to die. i just want to give up. i'm so tired. but no one wants to hear it. no one cares, unless i pay. my mother does but i'm sorry mom i can't live just for you. as much as i love you too. my sister's care too but really only when i reach out for help or when its convenient. they're loving people they just don't have time to worry about me or the large majority of people in their life in the average day. how can i blame them? who does? i just say these things to straighten them out for myself. i accept responsibility. it's no one's fault but mine. i'm the one who feels this way. i'm the one who acts in such a way to make the world hate me, though i'm not sure exactly what it is that i do. at least if i die then there'll be this and i won't be someone who killed themself and no one knows why. thats looking on the bright side of life.

Currently 10.00/10
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Rating: 10.0 out of 1 vote cast