Internet dates..friends or foes?

True Story...I'm on an internet dating site and she writes me...she askes questions like, "do you have any funnt internet dating stories, do you like GW Bush, do you like BUTTERFLIES(I kid you not)....my (actual) answer:

OK, let's get THIS straight too...there's nothing, I mean NOTHING funny about internet dating. Let's look at the whole thing from the beginning. We are on the INTERNET....Right now people in Kenya are saying..."what the hell is spinning class?"....that's our first mistake. Second, you are the ONLY one who didn't mention sundays in bed. You would think it rains EVERY freakin sunday in the tri-state area...."I love doing times x-word puzzle in bed on sunday mornings.....when it rains"....whats a 5 letter word for "lazy?"....moving right along, then we strike up an email thing...the woman's goin..."hey, I like this, that, the other thing, I want a strong man who knows himself, brings roses, ets etc"....the guys goin "I thought I saw a good sized breast in one of those shots.....was it a reflection?....hold on, lemme dim the screen a bit...add a little hue"....then speaking of fluffy liars(so we agree on cats then?), they say they work out 5 times a week, then show up holding a donut and looking 10 years older...true story: I went on one where I SWEAR she was pregnant...maternity city....I was pissed so when we went into the restaurant I told the waitress "table for 3 please"...of course that went over her head...she was too busy eyeing the pies in the glass case.

Politics...at the point now where I'm writing in Barry Manilow for president(after all, he DOES write the songs...he said so)...I hate everyone....Bush?? heeeeheee....danny devito pretty much summed it up on "The View" the other day when he was coming off an all-nighter...if you didn't see it, go to you tube.

Now ME on the other hand....the pics are real, I am over 6', hey, I'm 48, the game is up...heeeeeeeeeeere's.......ME!!!

Getting back to butterflies....ok, ok, whats not to like...BUT!!!!....could ONE of them....ONCE....JUST ONCE....have let me catch them in one of those 2 dollar nets my mother bought me when I was 5. I used to chase them from Long Island to Delaware, right down 95, then back in time for dinner...I think that's when it all started between me and those flying colorful freaks........JUST ONCE?!??!?!?!?!?

gotta go, just saw a butterfly go by.....this could be the day

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Rating: 6.8 out of 5 votes cast