Archibald and the order of the Scale

There once was squirrel named Archibald, this was a very strange squirrel because he thought he was a Salt water crocodile, so he moved to South Africa to meet his other crocodile chums. On arriving in Africa, he encountered a buffalo with no head, the buffalo couldn’t talk, and the squirrel needed directions, so he said to hell with it, and asked the maggot emitting from the buffalos main artery, Archibald said ‘hey you dear maggot, very fine weather wouldn’t you say, cutting to the chase, where is the nearest watering hole?’ to which the maggot replied ‘bluh gobble’ and spat some buffalo intestine from his ear. Archibald was very disgusted by this remark, and wondered if all the African folk is like this, so he licked his finger and caught the direction of the wind and ventured south.

Upon entering ‘ventured south’ he found his body temperature dramatically increasing due to the hairy stuff on his backside. Archibald was puzzled by this as crocodiles don’t usually have hair… or do they? Archibald figured he was a new breed of crocodile; the hairy backed Mammoth winged crocodilian.

After venturing many hours towards the water hole he arrived at his destination, to find the crocodiles were rather rude towards him. To make an impression to the crocodiles, Archibald did the mammoth flapping winged crocodilian dance of west Alberkerki. They all started to sway left and right, as if they were in a trance by this squirrel, upon finishing the crocodiles were quite amazed, and decided to accept them into their clan, the order of the scale.

The furry critter was rather pleased and touched, by this gesture a tear leaked from his eye ball socket leg. Then a wild boy named Tony came out of the bush in a loin cloth, wondering where he is, he asked Archibald where the bleep is he, to which Archibald replied in squirrel fashion ‘squeek squeek abooma fish yeah’ upon hearing this Tony ran away crying as he was very scared by the squirrel shriek attack, so he grabbed the nearest African swallow and flew off into the horizon. The crocodiles, upon hearing this realised he wasn’t a crocodilian at all, but a squirrel of the wood! So they decided to eat him and his bushy tail.

BUT Archibald was a smart button, and rather strong too. He picked up all of the crocodiles by their tails and threw them into the sun…sizzle. Tony came back on the swallow as migration season was over, and landed by Archibald, this startled the small fury squirrel, and then Tony exclaimed ‘where have all the crocodiles gone?’

Then Archibald pointed at the sun and said ‘bwuhah swqqkekkkk lbyybu’ Tony cried and ate a jelly mould and died of leukaemia.

Currently 8.40/10
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Rating: 8.4 out of 5 votes cast