Of Walruses and Homeless People

There was a man who lived in Chicago.
This man was homeless, and his name was Joe.
Each night before he went to bed,
he would hang down his head
and he would cry and cry.
He knew if he stayed in his city he would starve and die.
So he stowed away on a big ship,
and the ship took him on a very long trip.
It took him all the way to the island of Svalbard,
where he made himself a home out of trash from a junkyard.
Svalbard, as you may already know,
is a land far up North that is covered in snow.
It is part of the magnificent country of Norway,
and its beaches are icy places where walruses stay.
Joe was happy now that he had made himself a nice little shack.
He even made friends with a polar bear named Jack.
One day he decided to go to the sea.
And what he saw there would make most people flee.
He found himself standing face to face with the most fearsome creature ever:
The evil demon walrus of doom who’s name was Trevor!
Trevor could decapitate a human with one swipe of his tusk!
His hobby was killing from dawn until dusk.
If you caught one whiff of his foul breath,
you would instantly suffocate to death.
In order to escape from Trevor, Joe needed a plan.
But he didn’t have one, so he turned around and ran.
Unfortunately, Trevor was faster than the speed of light.
He caught up to Joe and took a big bite.
When Joe realized his left leg was not there,
he yelled out for his friend the polar bear.
But even Jack was too scared to come near,
when Trevor looked at him he trembled with fear.
So Joe tried to crawl away from that blubbery beast,
even though he knew he would soon be deceased.
But the warm blood that spilled from his wound melted the snow,
revealing the razor-sharp rocks that rested below.
And Trevor fell onto them and was impaled!
Then, for the last time in history, Trevor exhaled.
Soon Jack returned and Joe got a new prosthetic limb.
And everyone in Svalbard threw a party for him.

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