Series of Randomness

Once upon a time there was a hedgehog named Skippy who liked seedless cantaloupes. He stole my Yogos and traded them for celery. I told our teacher, who then proceeded to use a Skittles wrapper to clean off gum from his shoe. Wait… I guess before I tell you my action-packed story, I should tell you a little bit more about who I am. My name is Bubba. I am a duck-billed platypus of the Oodles clan. I was born in Bismarck, but raised in Djibouti. One time, when I got my spikes shaved, people said I looked like a bowl of cream of broccoli soup with Reeses Pieces on top. Well now that you know a little bit more about me I will tell you a story of one of my most amazing adventures of all time.

I was on my way to the Gumdrop Parade, set to be held on Doom Mountain. I was making my way through the Candy Cane Forest, when I met Fromaggio, Portillo, Humberto, and Tim. I think they were four-uplets. They all looked the same and were platypi (my plural for platypus) just like me, but they were goat-billed platypi, not duck-billed platypi. Tim looked more of the same to the others than the other ones looked like Tim, though. It made sense in my head, OK? They were also on their way to the Gumdrop Parade. They offered me some of their blue sour punch straws, so we became instant amigos. We decided to go together; after all, I could use the protection from all the grape popsicles and other creatures that may be roaming around the wretched forest.

After eating a nutritious lunch of instant mashed potatoes, marshmallows, and canned pineapple, we set off to begin our long journey. We had only walked for a few minutes when we ran into 5 rolls of evil wrapping paper. They said that unless we beat them in a game of hacky sack football, they would put us in an envelope and feed us to the penguins. We had no choice but to accept the challenge, even though hacky football stinks when you play it 5 on 5. One of the rolls took the hacky sack out of his pocket, and we agreed that the game would be the first to score 5 touchdowns. We flipped a coin and they won the toss, but for some strange reason, they chose to kick off.

They threw the hacky high in the air; Tim caught it and ran for an amazing return of 3 yards. We threw the ball four times, and each time, it was batted down by one of the rolls, so it was a turnover. They threw four times and we knocked it down every time, so we got the ball back. This went on and on for a while until Portillo had a plan. We sat down with the ball and waited. They got very angry, telling us to call hike already, but we wouldn’t. Humberto took a bag of dried mangos out of his pocket. They were warm and there was fur on them, but they were good anyway. We waited there until all the rolls had fallen asleep, and then we ran away. Pretty tricky, right?

The rest of the story is really boring, so I’ll save you the yawning and just tell you how it ends. We got to Doom Mountain, and watched the Gumdrop Parade. We even got to meet the Queen of the Gumdrop Parade, Mildred Sourdough. She became our friend. We went to free skate at the ice rink together, and I showed other animals my awesome magic trick. They were like, “that’s so awesome.” Then I was like, “Yeah I know.” They asked me if my hair color was natural. Then I got my pizza and entered a raffle, but I didn’t win. This other platypus put more than one raffle ticket in, and his name got chosen as a winner twice, and they were like, “you cheated,” so he didn’t get the prize. Then I went home.

THE END

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