Drifters Entrails/Saved by Obama

So I was staring at a deceased, or near deceased, drifters entails wondering whether or not they were clean. I mean they had to be filthy, he was a drifter. They eat stuff like rotten penises that have fallen out of the local whore¡¦s happy crevice, and the crap off the burger king value menu. Then I realized that, maybe he was one of those willing drifters, who live off a trust fund and eat like a king, but they think they are misunderstood, so they wander around aimlessly. I had to find out, so I opened his wallet, and found a disembodied finger, and a used condom. I threw the finger off the side for the mutant crickets who inhabited this particular waste disposal orphanage, to do with what they will, and kept the condom to put in my scrap book entitled Random Condoms. I was still abit woozy from my ordeal so I didn¡¦t take in the seriousness of the situation. You see, I was nearly raped by a coked out Sarah Palin, who was being egged on by John McCain, who I presume had just downed a fifth of vodka, and eleven or twelve strips of high powered blotter acid, seeing as how he was complaining about how bright his hands smelt, and I couldn¡¦t stop thinking about it. I still haven¡¦t found out what kind of kooky shenanigans those two whippersnappers were getting into, but I do know now that the rumor about how they like rape is true. I would have been defiled, I¡¦m sure, if Barrack Obama had not have showed up to drive scimitars threw their chemical riddled bodies, and carve the word CHANGE into their foreheads with a butchers cleaver. ¡§Mr. President, what are you doing here?¡¨ ¡§Well, Kris, in two months I will be the official president, and I came here to stick my testicles in nuclear waste.¡¨ ¡§Why would you do that?¡¨ Obama¡¦s face looked like that of a kind father figure. ¡§Well, if I¡¦m going to make all those changes that I said I was going to, I¡¦m going to need some kinda super powered mutant balls, unlike the two pinto bean, and the crotch pinky I¡¦m packing currently.¡¨ ¡§That seems dangerous, what if you get lymphoma?¡¨ ¡§That¡¦s a risk I¡¦m willing to take, if it means my country will prosper¡¨ I looked at him with an overwhelming sense of pride, as he dipped his balls in a vat of radioactive waste. I couldn¡¦t help but think that he was gonna be the very best black president we have ever had. As soon as the presidents balls were licked clean by Vice President Biden, Mr. Obama grabbed the apparently still alive drifters lower intestine, killing him of coarse, threw it up into the sky, wrapped it around the moon, and swung off into the night to change America like all the ways he said he would. I mean its not like he just said a whole bunch of stuff he new he couldn¡¦t do just to get elected, what kind of presidential candidate would do that? ƒº

The end- Now piss off.

Currently 8.00/10
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Rating: 8.0 out of 2 votes cast