The Win Appararatus

Okay I started this one day in class... trying to hide the fact that I was simming on my beloved laptop instead of working. Yepp. uhhh... more comments after..

Chapter 1
Pure, unadulterated, win.

Kal watched as his best friend, Cindy, seemed to dance across the rocks on the beach, lately strange things had been happening around her. Oh noez. So yea this will be less than immature it’ll be de-mature. Kal decided to loom over Cindy, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AH LIKE P’CAAAANS!!! And then Kal was all PNCH’D! Pansies be pretty flowers.
“S’like, wanna go to Boys’R’Us?” Cindy inquired.
“Do I!?” And with that the trio—they also had an albino mute who was also nude named Squitzvonfret [Skwits-vohn-frett] with them—skipped off to Wonderwall, a wall next to Wonderland that had been turned into a song by the band Oasis. Along their way a flying squirrel shat on Kal’s shoe. Damn. Now Gerbleflunk [Gir-bull-flunk] would NEVER date him. Which, also damn. And then the god of their world, bologna-land, made the sky do creepy finger motions and the trio was all “Wut?” and drooling. Which, NEAT. AND NEAR….sighted. So then a fish with massive tits and no waist walked by and Squitzvonfrent realized he was a fish-ophile. Nifty keen, so was Omnipotent-God.
And then their friend Helena walked by being hardcore and win, and they were all [DUE TO THE OFFENSIVE NATURE OF WHAT I ORIGINALLY POSTED THIS SCENE WILL BE REPLACE BY CUTE-LITTLE-PUPPY-KITTEN EATING SOUP] and that was lame.
So then I showed up. And I was omnipotent so I could do whatever the CENSORED-WORD I wanted. Because of my mighty omni-potency I turned Cindy into a ham because I don’t like her name; so nyeah. And then the Naz—Cassi showed up. And s/he was all “Word up diggity dawgs I be eating yer home slice’s up G.” And then her undercut of DOOM ate your face, srsly, check the mirror. Ew.
KERSNUFFLE!
That was me pretending to sneeze. So then Kal cut his arm off and commenced beating the ham over the face with it. Do not question! Go eat my piss. And for the love of Bologna-land, don’t fragging correct me!
So Squitzvonfreqt kissed Peralinagtominaftershavefingertoadlitsblamendooglecrackerjacks [Purr-al-in-ag-tomm-in-aff-tur-shave-fin-gerr-toed-lits-blamm-en-doo-full-crack-err-jacks] on the cheek, PeralinagtominaftershavefingertoadlitsblamendooglecrackerjacksHanz, by the way, is Kal’s new name.
So together, Squitzvonfrevt, ham, Helena, the Naz—Cassi, Gerbleflunk and PeralinagtominaftershavefingertoadlitsblamendooglecrackerjackshanzKraken made their way to Boys’R’Us, AKA Ganondemort’s super-duper evil secret shopping center lair McGagget, where he used his sexy sexness of sexily smexay…. No. Ganondemort is a horrifying concept and only someone as horribly weird and depraved as the naz—Cassi would find him attractive. Srsly, what is wrong with that girl/boy/whatever.
Once they were at Boys’R’Us a bored looking girl made of sex asked them if they needed any help, to which PeralinagtominaftershavefingertoadlitsblamendooglecrackerjackshanzkrakenSmezzletof told her they did. But since his name is getting hard to say he was turned into a bowl of cheese, that the girl made of sex who doesn’t get a name but is totally Stacey ate. But then I got sued and had to remove that from happening so when they entered this time a fat guy in a gasmask asked if they needed anything and long-named guy who was formerly known as Kal asked for a name, and since Boys’R’Us is magical he got one. Wevetriffnogatsia. [Wevv-et-riff-no-got-see-ah]
Bow chicka bow wow. That’s a sexay name. It makes me wanna drill a mallard duck. Or drill a person like a mallard duck. Either or. And then the mighty fallis blew up in an explosion of soya flower and bran bars, causing Sailor Marth to be sad. And gay. And offensive. So then I recycled bran, and made steak outta it cause the god of Bologna world can but stuff into recycling bins and bring it out as juicy steak with random veins spewing out of it.
S’like then I decided to scrap this and start fresh with a plot.

Wevetriffnogatsia watched intently as a swirling vortex swallowed his friend the hams house. Ganondemort was attempting to destroy Bologna-land yet again, and even though it was his sworn duty as the hero of cheese, Wevetriffnogatsia tired of his duties. He longed for the carefree days when him and Squitzvonfremt sat together by the fireplace, sipping Helena’s homemade macaroni smoothies. Alas, it could no longer be! Squitzvonfregt had joined up with Ganondemort to destroy all the world’s pecans, thus destroying Bologna-land itself. For, it was tradition to shout your admiration for pecans in an obscure accent before punching someone in a Huir costume in the gut on Bolocan day, and if no one did this then Bologna-land would fall through the heavens and crash land in Mexico, destroying all the world’s sombrero dances.
Heaving a sigh, Gerbleflunk tried yet again to convince the hero of cheese to protect the much appreciated pecans. “But Wevetriff… My love! You must stop the accursed Ganondemort and his sex-slave henchman Squitzvonfrebt before they wear their Speedos!” The very thought caused Wevetriffnogatsia to desire gouging his face out. Ganondemort in a Speedo was not a pleasant visual.
“But what am I to do? They already have the magical sub of Spingatimanifarism! They will inevitably use this to destroy Baksvatica City!” Wevetriffnogatsia cried. He then proceeded to go into hysterics until Gerbleflunk smacked him upside the head.
“Get a hold of yourself man!” screamed Gerbleflunk. Just then, in walked the most beautiful person Wevetriffnogatsia had ever seen! She had wide, tangerine eyes, pale lavender skin, and forest green hair that fell in vine-like dreadlocks down her back.
“Hello,” the beautiful girl-thing greeted.
“Ohai.” Wevetriffnogatsia greeted back.
“My name is Jinoodefpotsaklaticasderamaptorikviksiturdinikalablamenjuffromtoopatsimanita.”
“Oh I didn't need to know all of your names, the first would suffice.”
“That is the first.”
“I'll just call you Higgurt. My name's Wevetriffnogatsia, and it's lovely to meet you, Higgurt.”
“But my name is Jinoodefpots—!”
“Whatever you say, Higgurt.” Wevetriffnogatsia cut in.
“...”
“S'like, sex?”
“YES!” Gerbleflunk volunteered, before Higgurt could even think her opinion.
“Kaye.” And then they totally did it, I'm not even kidding you. And Higgurt watched for some unfathomable reason, seriously Higgurt, what the crap?
All of a sudden a brick came flying out of nowhere and smashed Gebleflunk in the shoulderblad and the sound effect was BRICK'D! “NYARG MY SHOULDERBLAD!!” Gerbleflunk screamed in writhing agony.
“Indubidablahdahblahplopolopp...” Wevetriffnogatsia attempted, trailing off when he realized just how much fail-cake he ate.
“I think it's time for me to go,” Higgurt began, backing away slowly.
"No stay!" Wevetriffnogatsia exclaimed, leaping forward to grab Higgurt's arm and prevent her from escaping.

So thats where I got to so far.. I will shorten it maybe one day kinda.................... Might even continue on it...........................................
~Momo Kitty

Currently 10.00/10
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