JUST A WATCHER FROM THE CLIFF OF SANITY.30 Christopher Skolik
Joseph
Skargyll was a watcher from the cliff of sanity.
The
cliffs where metaphorical-(well-metaphorical-ish.). So he watched for potential
danger-all he had ever done really…
Because
of the nature of the job he kept quiet about it if he could-some could get a
touch ‘overwhelmed’ by the ideas and crap he was looking at.
“Oh so
clever-“
“So
wacky-“
“FREAK!”
All of
which he found somewhat alienating.
After
all it was just a trick to him. Which by now he was mostly good
at. He hadn’t had much choice. No, Joseph had NO delusions about his
status-even as a FUCK UP, he was really pretty lame-too fucked up to be a
criminal-(though prescription fraud was easy for him.), TOTAL junky, ‘self
hating’ homosexual, 3rd rate artist and erratic irritable
critic-satirist of human nature-and even SHERLOCK HOLMES wannabe…
Yes the
stuff he found difficult was extensive indeed-numbers where well beyond
him-FOOTBALL was way too complex-(In fact he was envious of those who got it
because he knew it was positive…).
Human
contact was sometimes tough, but he struggled, he knew where the alternative to
human contact led-and it was a VERY dark place indeed-
“FUCK
THAT! I have seen where PIED PIPERS LEAD-anyone for another
Nah-don’t
care what they put on the table…JOESEF FRITZL, BINLADEN, MANSON, HITLER, COLIN
BLANCHARD, IAN BRADY, FRED WEST-out there always on the can for accomplices and
victims-FUCK THAT! FUCK THAT SQUARED!”
Sure he
need his mates, and family to do this work-just knowing they where out there
was enough. As far as he was aware THIS WAS IT! Make the most of who you care
for-GODS gone and done one!
He knew
folks had there own lives, and didn’t want to hear his latest theory on the
psychological roots of paedophilia and fascism and hysterical Muslim terrorism!
He
stretched out a yawn
“FUCK
Being
alive was pretty cool after all- and though he could sometimes see RIGHT thru
the good shit-he knew that there was NO REAL ALTERNATIVE!
The
basic fact is that you ARE who, and what you care about-and those
monsters who want to abuse and control and terrorise, they wanted to
SEPARATE-create metaphoric and literal isolation.
MAKE
THEIR OWN PRIVATE WORLDS WHERE THEY CAN PLAY GOD! LIKE FRITZL-or maybe
BLANCHARD whose little bubble was less concrete.
Some
nights and days where tough, sure-shaking as he blasted out ‘SHE SAID SHE SAID’
or ‘TOMOROOW NEVER KNOWS’-and he would slide from WORLD SERVICE to RADIO 3 to
RADIO 2- daylight splintering beyond the curtain fabric!
Eventually
he would come out fighting though. Some would see his life as an EVIL OF DRUGS
wasteland-but he would never encourage their use, he was a particular case-and
they had worked for him-he3lped him to focus like a maniac on the things he
needed to know about the world around him, and his place in it!
He knew
would maybe see ADDICTION to opiates as COOL- because he had done it
himself-(See, just a basic fuck up despite all the fancy words!)
Sure
ADDICTION was COOL-NOT SHITTING FOR DAYS-now that’s REAL GLAMOUR RIGHT THERE!.
Yes,
they had helped and probably saved him,-though drug law and treatment services
seemed preoccupied with trying to make a difficult life pretty close to
intolerable-(“METHADONE” he shuddered out the word-his whole nervous system
clenched involuntarily at the word!-in the late 1960’s in ENGLAND when ADDICTS
where prescribed HEROIN there where aprox 500 registered addicts in the nation.
Now maybe 7 times that in
alone. AND now TALIBAN STAN gets fat off his poppy crop while our junkies get
thin and stay thin-and our boys get deaded, and the AFGHAN civilians DIE-ACID IN
A WOMANS FACE-yeah, sure the TALIBAN CARE!)
The
papers piled around him, front pages the usual collision of imbecile celeb
carping and depravity and emotional effluent-he picked thru-reached for the
bott6le of MORPHINE MIXTURE 20mg/1ml-swigged, pulled a face.
And
began.
As the
effect fell upon him like frosted broken glass ROBBIE WILLIAMS SONG came on the
radio-“WHO AM I TO RATE THE MORNING SUN?”
Joseph
fucking loved
after all the shit it had taken-all the crap council shit, the Nazi bombs, the
sacrifice of its OCEAN WARRIORS for the sake of paperwork and BULLSHIT-it was
still here.
And
that’s why he was….
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