MONEY!
''Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo'' said Mr Blue as he walked across the street. His dog, mr berry, went to the icecream shop and bought a pie. Then a blue flappery thing in a bubble stole the mushroom and a old lady turned into a cream cheese flavoured biscuit and was eaten by number ...

"fmnm"
"fmnm" FUCK EMINEM/ HIM AND HIS DAUGHTER, SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING I SHAT INTO THE TOILET/ WHILE HE WAS AT THE OTHER END OF THE SEWER DRAIN/ WITH OPEN ARMS AS SHE FLEW OUT THE WATER, SHE LOOKS LIKE A BOY WITH HER HAIR SO SHORT, I FOUND HIS RHYMES ...

The Decision
I biggest decision I’ve had to make in my life was when I was deciding which high school I wanted to attend Maine South High School or Norte Dame High School. I had always gone to a coed school but because my grades weren’t so hot my parents were ...

Fast foods
The salty goodness melts in your mouth each fry leaves you wanting more. Just one more ...

Waiting in Anticipation
The computer screen haunted my eyes. Pop-ups saying back and forth Slow, everything was going very slow. My ears filled the room as the teacher walked through the door. I started worrying, Sweat glittered down my back. I only had half an hour to do this, To finish this sour, salted essay. I tried to look around for ...

My (retarted) Friend
My friend Fred is a real talker. One time, he went to the store aand saw this really ugly girl and started drooling because, see, he's got this thing for super ugly girls and women. So he went over and started babbling on and on about pie and cheese. He ...

When Subway Attacks!
Everything that I am with my best friend Erin something crazy happens. Erin and I were going to a parade at The University of Delaware. The parade itself was dull and repetitive, like most parades unless you are in Disney. After the tour Erin and I decided that we were ...

All in a Day's Work
Today was another great day at the candy factory. Aside from all of the sweets I pick off the line all day, I also get to take home the defective candies-the ones without wrappers, the ones with messed-up printing, the ones that got crushed or pinched in the production process. ...

Gramma T
In a time where the national anthem in Soviet Russia was Don't'cha, by the Pussycat Dolls, but the presidents only had to sing the "Don't'cha wish your girlfirend was hot like this?" part, there lived two very ordinary children.1 One was named Polly, after her mother's parrot.2 The other was named Phil, ...

in the shallows
In the shallows there be little fish that swim happily. They mainly survive on minute plankton but thar blows the chimney sweep who oftentimes lifts up the fish and putsem in thar mouth. Not tee good an idea fer a two-fingered inuit waffler. ...